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Showing posts with label Dear Diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dear Diary. Show all posts

Monday, June 3

Today the 7th day after the funeral......

Last weeks there were another Death in the Family... a mourning day and parade of the gray Matching band...  and then follow by the funeral day where the coffin was nail shut. Leaving tear among the relatives and sibling. where we watch  him laid on the grown fallow with funeral rite and chinese ritual.

I still remember the phone call where i heard the wailing and uncontrolled sobbing and piece by piece of words forming into a sentence from his daughter that Her Apaa who was very ill had a fall and wouldn't wake up. Thus we call several other relative and uncle and neighbour that was nearby  their house and by the time their reach there.  There were nothing that they can do. In the end a doctor from nearby clinic was called and he annouced the time of passing on 140pm.

We reach later at 2pm. Many  cant believe that he has pass away when we had just visit him last nite and the day before. He look very calm as if he was in a deep sleep with nothing to worry at all lying forever still on the sofa.

Later other relative rush to house that day . Then we decide to moved the body to the hospital first and wait for the release of his body.


The body was later were place at the Hokkien Asssociation Hall for praver and ritual and preparation went on the way even though everyone was sad. Phone call was made  to family, friends and acquaintance..

on the Third day . the coffin was close after his last daughter arrive on the 3rd day..

and thus began the procession ritual of sending the decease. Where he was buried beside his wife who had pass away 4 year early during the marriage and wedding ritual of their younger daughter.  It was a sad affair watching tear glistening down  his eye in  sadness and mourning of his wife and the mother of his 5 children..


Today the seventh day. last nite we had gather all his favorite  belonging, cloth and mattress to the his grave for the last rite where all his belonging was burned  infront of the grave and where his eldest song carry his urn to the Buddhist Association to be place there beside his wife as was promised year before this.

Death came again it seen... as nature had set .

We will never forger his helpfulness in helping the people around him and his constant visit to all our relatives while he was alive and never miss to visit relative house when he was free.... and how hard he work for his family...
READ MORE - Today the 7th day after the funeral......

Tuesday, March 26

Death a Though by zhuojing

Death for many people is a frightening word. As word of death is a scourge that must be avoided in any discussion of human life. At issue is whether the death is a taboo word? Is not every man will eventually experience death. Because not a single human being on this earth that can resist death, when the time comes. It must be realized that when a man faced with a problem of death, there is a feeling of emptiness, fear and as if something sinister is happening in front of him
READ MORE - Death a Though by zhuojing

Friday, March 7

Feeling Lonely


Dear Diary,

God I hate this feeling! Make it go away. . .NOW! I don't mind being alone. I hate feeling lonely.

I just needed to say the words...

It's not that I am really obsessed about things or loneliness, I just can't stand this things no more.

I am all alone, I remember people who were around me, when I was not. And that is hard to feel, 'cause even now I seek for myself knowing I am a lone person.

And soon I will recover my reality, my force ad strenght.

Now I just do Think that being lonely is not that bad. It is just that, not bad. I feel missing, I feel sorry, I feel things, that's all!

Maybe one day I'll rest my mind upon something really warm. But will I be calm? Will I rest? What is this unquiet feel?

I am overwhelmed, overwhelming, and lost; and then again, found.

Soon, I will remember, soon I will forget. But I just wanted to have someone, not me, to hold on to: everyone. But what if I get tired of it?

What...

That is foolish, and dumb, but it sure is me.

I thought I didn't need to be me to be... I just wanted to be.

Will someone let me be?

And if they let, will they let beside of me?

I love, I hate, I don't care. I am scared of myself sometimes. Profoundly scared.

Let me be. Let me be me. Let me be me, but be you with me. I love thee. Feeling out of my mind, in the middle of the night, but it is morning yet, and this soon I find myself moaning already.

Some time wandering ....but Difficult! But soon it will pass, and dead I will return to my wounded land. Go ahead! Let go, let go of these things, but hold them inside, but follow your path. Even if it is being alone.
READ MORE - Feeling Lonely

Wednesday, March 5

I do Care For u.. SMS

Dear Diary!!
Last Night! some one sent me message me saying that no body care for her...and i promptly call her and ask her why...and she told me of her problem....she just broke up with her boy friend and she was crying and repeatably telling me that no body care for her...and this got me upset and i scold her back...that i care for her!! she immediately hung up on me!! Which was my fault actualy...1 i think i scare her!!

But later i wrote and Sms "whic i forgot what i wrote but i wrote to her telling her that sound like this :

"you say that that no body care about u. But u need to known that There are many people that care for you..is just that you dint know it. It could be because one of them is me, if only 1 person cares 4 u...than it would mean that person is me..If no 1 cares 4 u that means i m not in this world any more!!!!

then after 3 hour at 4am my phone vibrate and i pickup my Hp just an hour ago and all that i can heard was a cry.... but know that she had read my mesage...that i told her that. u sily girl..stop crying..or i hang up...which she did..try to stop but in those between crying she said thank you!.. and i just laugh softly and hang up... and call her using my Happy number...we had a long conversation untill 5 oclock in the morning...and i promise to see her tomorrow...

dear diary im going to kedah tomorrow. to see our stupid little girl..

bye..cu again
READ MORE - I do Care For u.. SMS

Wednesday, February 27

This Morning Activity

Today was very funny as we dance alot of stuff today from poco poco till Para2 Sakura dance 6this morning...haha..Quite enjoy it....now felt sleepy as been awake since 37 hour ago...neeed to sleep...


Bye2 ! signing off for today..!!
READ MORE - This Morning Activity

Friday, February 22

Another Craps from Me

Another Craps from Me

I am going to die someday. And when that happens, I will be forgiven and forgotten for all the things that I have done, be it good or bad. So I'm going to live my life, my way, regardless of what people say. Live everyday like there is no tomorrow... I respect your right to hate me, my lifestyle, my looks, my attitude, my everything...Cos from starting from today i'will be my self which is just that's just downright me without the fake mask that most people put on...


Peace To All and I Love u

READ MORE - Another Craps from Me

Wednesday, February 20

Blues Day

Today i woke up at 6.30 in the morning after spending a unrest lest night yesterday..
How is she today.... they are days...i sometime i thought i saw her...look back behind..i wish to see her... i still miss her....

evertime when i go there this song sometime came across my mind..I can’t help but parallel my feelings from the time with the memory with this song.

At first, I was excited to go. I was a little apprehensive at first, have never been so deeply . Overall, though, I was excited. I wanted to get in there and just LOVE !!! More than , what I wanted to let her know that they still people who care..

It belong to one of my favorite rock group call Coldplay; a song called “Fix You”. This song plays on each and every one of my emotions, from excitement to sadness. But then it offers a bit of hope, as well.

...


i'm still worry about what had happen to her...

Why is the word so strange?
READ MORE - Blues Day

Tuesday, May 29

Suicide! Thought

I’m staring at the sun
But it's too yellow and bright
I don’t know what’s been happening
But I hope what I’m gonna do is right.

I’m falling from the top
But I’ve not yet hit the ground
I feel like I’m flying
People are screaming all around
The clouds and the sky stare back at me

As the breeze softly bites my face,
I don’t feel my weight anymore
I'm in a completely different place.
A thousand things run through my head,
I’m beginning to regret what I’m doing
But it's too late, I can’t turn back

I started it and have to keep going.
“Thud!” is the last I heard,
I know I’ve hit the ground
My body goes numb and so does my head,
People are starting to gather around

I get up but they don’t notice
I scream but they can’t hear
I realize why as I stare at myself
My eyes begin to widen in fear.

Fear soon turns into sorrow,
As I realize what I have done,
The tears start falling from my eyes
I turn away and begin to run.
READ MORE - Suicide! Thought

Friday, May 25

Am I still Alive? You Ask....

Well Im alive it just that i been busy.....i still blogging...it just that i been feeling rather tire lately...any way i going to change this web blog...i a couple of day and retouched the style....bye...i going to sleep now....i been busy moderating and busy battleground with flame war in two of my favorite forum with my life this day.... Sighh ..bye
READ MORE - Am I still Alive? You Ask....

Friday, March 30

Another Grief......in the Family

Death come again...WHY?
In the 4.45pm in my University Library..i received a call from my little Lyn,telling me that
(my great Uncle ,81yrs), passed away at 3.40pm that afternoon of 28th of Mac 2007,

i'm quite fond of him...even though he like to cane us allot when we were still children..we realy dont know how much miss deed that we have done.
This year ching Ming and the rest will not be same any more as he is the "Great stubborn General" that alway hush people , shout at people and give order on everyting during our annual family gathering for Ching Ming Day as he is the pillar that hold all the family together.

It's been 2 days now since his passing , i still think of him from time to time.

Good Bye Great uncle.
We will realy miss U


READ MORE - Another Grief......in the Family

Sunday, February 11

Death come again..

Then death come again ,On January 8,2007 my aunt died after a year of battling cancer.

For most of the year that she was sick and could not stay by herself, I stayed with her, during that some of time I discovered that even though we didn't always agree with one another she was really a wonderful person and was also a very best friend who are very know for his charity work among the bhuddist community in Kelantan... I have missed her much more than I ever thought was possible.

Good Bye my Auntie Kao Jang...
READ MORE - Death come again..

Good Bye...My Dear Best Friend

When i was young there 2 people who are close with me,wherever we went there are the three of us ready to be found giggling together doing terrible thing and funny thing together.

My Best Friend died on December 2, 1998 of a car who crash into his motorcycle while on his way to his birthday party that we had planed with his family. He was our very best friend, and I thought I would never hurt that much again, but then January 3, 2007 it was never the same again after she died, died after a car crash along with his brother, now the stories about the three had already passed.....leaving only regret in my heart that i had never cherish them deeply when they was alive.

Both of them was my best friend ,

"Strangely enough we alway imagine that death will one day sweerp down on us but we never expect them to happen some one else until it is too late.Leaving the feeling of regret among our heart."

Good Bye... My Dear Best Friend,
i will see u all again when it my turn to meet "him"



READ MORE - Good Bye...My Dear Best Friend

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